What if, maybe...?

We walked out into the starry night. It was a beautiful night that followed that beautiful day. I had dreaded this moment all day. Aubrey was leaving for Russia the next day to begin missionary work at an orphanage there. We've been best friends ever since I can remember. She is more of a sister to me than a biological sister would be I think. "Eloise," she said into the silence, "I'm so thankful for our time together today." We had avoided getting too serious all day, choosing to reminisce and joke and speak of my own coming adventures instead. "Me too," I thought more than said, feeling the itch of tears tickle at my face. "I'm so excited for this next chapter in both of our lives," I said with more strength, "but I'm nervous too and worried and a little unsure." We both just gazed up at the stars. "Maybe I should be going with you. I mean, what if just living a normal life isn't enough," I continued.

Aubrey turned to look at me. "I know you are worried about me and about where you are; I've been thinking a lot about that." I waited expectantly. When Aubrey had thought about something a lot, it meant she had prayed about it. When she talked about having thought about it, it meant she had carefully pondered and prayed over the exact words she was about to say. "Maybe, I've been thinking, maybe living a life of passion and success doesn't mean a big house and nice things, maybe it doesn't mean moving half way across the world. Maybe being the best we can be, being 'enough' for God, is a lot closer to us than we imagine. What if it's taking each breath with thankfulness that we got another one? Speaking every single word with love and responsibility. Hugging our friends and family with sincerity that runs so deep it might hurt. Earning, really earning, every penny we make at our job. Working with passion at whatever we have to do so that maybe we do deserve higher payment but we finish the day content with what we have. Caring about those around us, asking them how they are and just looking at them like we mean it, because we do...." She trailed off in thought.

I knew I would never forget her words. And I knew then that our worlds would change more in the next few years than we imagined. We looked up one last time then back at each other. We hugged each other for what seemed like forever but it was still far from long enough. As she drove away, I thought I would burst into tears, but they wouldn't fall. Only a single tear fell. I imagined, dreamer that I am, that it was a falling star that fell into my heart and spilled some of the wonder of that moment. I passed Aubrey's words on to my 19 year old daughter today. She would be proud. Not of me, or of her words, but of the way God has spoken through her words to me time and again, and how He now poured into a new generation through her. I miss her, always, but thank our Father for tying our lives together for a short while on this earth and look forward to when they will be once more in eternity.